See you when I see you

See you when I see you
as the Spanish say:
It means I don't know when I'll see you next
but when I do
you will most certainly be seen
by me.

Faerie creature, this is what I say
to you,
You who are a pure emotional singularity,
Ethereal spirit living only in the moment,
the only moment,
only momentary.
If I fault you for it
then I must also fault
butterfly and snow leopard
and rainbow and soap bubble
and aurora borealis
and bodhisattva
and ice cream man
and the deist god.

I love you today but not tomorrow
but definitely next week
And I am learning to love you
slowly
all the time
unceasingly
But it is hard
really hard
because I'm unaccustomed to
weighing my anchor
so very often
And it's exhilarating but
sometimes it makes me
ever so
tired.
But I'm learning.
I'm learning.

Learning to let go.
But I can't let go of everything--
I'll fall down and fuck up my knees.
Learning to let go of self righteousness
and social self consciousness
and self indulgence
and self denial
and selfishness
and selflessness.
What is left?
Just me
I suppose
and the faeries
fleeting
about time's grand courtyard
tracing erratic firefly lines
across the firmament of my being
inflaming my love and admiration
And then skipping off
to some distant cosmos
to decorate other skies.

Help them shine.
Don't bemoan their freedom
Don't clip their wings
or trap them
or fight them.
Help them shine
and they will help you shine.
I'm learning to love you
unceasingly
increasingly
all the time
I'm learning.
I'm learning to open my heart
and leave it open.