Amit the Accoster

Amit accosted me at my desk again today
Changed his name to Rakanishu
Which is NOT a Pokemon but,
rather,
Is a lightening demon that I
Killed
Over and over
When I was a lad
With my sapphire studded frost sword
Or my wolf claws
Or a really big hammer called
Bonesnap with a 40% chance of
CRUSHING BLOW!

What does he want, I ask myself.
Amit, not Rakanishu.
He appears behind me and
Starts talking like he
Expects something to happen.
Like he is waiting for me to
Blow his mind with
Platitudes become prophecies spun around a moment into
The Grand Unification Theory,
The universal mother of Heisenberg and Einstein, now
Brothers
Womb mates
Paradox disenparadoxicalized.

Instead, I say things like
This tea you made me is pretty ok
Or
65 degrees outside today,
     how's that for winter?
And then we laugh,
And now I'm the one that won't stop talking as he tries to peel himself away by slowly rounding my desk and looking back the way he came and uttering noncommittal parting phrases in that peculiar high pitched tone that signals the desire to sever the vocal bond for the time being, time being what it is.

Amit,
visit me softly
visit me sweet
visit me on my feet.
Stand with me at my standing desk
And we can be so leet
As we beat Rakanishu
With your frozen orb
(it's so cold)
And my Cruel Bastard Sword of Cunning and Sharp Pointy Teeth
(look at the bones!)
And save the old skinny ass of Deckard Cain
(help!)
For the ten hundred thousand million bajillionth time.